Monday's Friday Rant: Surviving Barack Obama

At the last minute, I took Friday off of work. No particular reason – it was a nice day, and I felt like it. It was great; I didn’t even touch the computer for three days. I hung out in the Old Confederate workshop, fought off a ferocious man-eating squirrel (successfully) and watched Collin roll all over the floor.

Having the day off, I completely forgot about the all-important rant. Not that I didn’t have one – I just kind of blew it off. BUT…if I would have written a rant, it would have gone something like this:

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Nationalized banks. Socialized medicine. Free college education. Cap and trade tax for evil carbon burning industries. Mortgage bailouts for deadbeats. Billions more for union thug automakers. Billions for DTV converter boxes. Millions for STD prevention, hog lot odor research and trains to Disneyland. Tax increases for the “rich,” reduced charitable and home mortgage deductions and don’t forget about the electric golf carts.

It’s a crisis, and we have to do whatever it takes to end this crisis. Including peeing trillions of dollars down our leg. Here’s how it works:

“Uh, in this extraordinary crisis, uh, which, uh, I inherited…uh, the only way we’re going to, uh, fix it is to, uh, create electronic medical records and socialize the healthcare industry.” Immediately following this statement, the markets tank, afraid of another socialized industry. Republicans come out against the program, arguing it has little to do with fixing our present crisis. The Dear Leader holds a press conference/interview…when asked about the criticism and plummeting markets, replies,

“Uh, this decline in the markets is not my doing. I, uh, inherited the problem…I think we can all agree, healthcare is a problem that needs fixed. If we can fix it now it will help the economy. Those criticizing this important program need to realize this is a crisis and we almost united together in a post-partisan era. Now, uh, is not the time to debate. Last November, the people, uh, spoke…and they wanted change.”

Whenever the Dear Leader and his goons want to shove a new socialist program down our throats, that’s their template. So the question becomes, how do we survive Barack Obama? I’m not an economist, a therapist, a politician or someone who stayed at a Holiday Inn last night. I’m just a guy who lives in the log cabin somewhere in the boot heel of Guthrie County. I’ve always thought that those “tin foil” hat types were kind of kooky. But seriously, for the first time in my life, I’ve actually had conversations with relatively normal people about how much gold and silver bullion to have stashed away for when the shih-tzu hits the fan.

Anyway, here’s my thinking. For the next four years, we’re pretty much screwed. Let’s start with that. For the next two years, we’re really screwed. For the next 12 months, it’s pretty much every man for himself.

Clearly, the policies the Dear Leader have proposed are going to do nothing but advance his liberal/socialist agenda (health care, war on carbon, education and higher taxes for everybody). They aren’t going to bring us out of the mini-depression we’re in. They’re not going to “save or create 3.5 million jobs.” This fact is almost implied throughout even much of the mainstream media at this point.

But that doesn’t matter to the Dear Leader and his goons. For the short term, this crisis is a good thing for them. They’re calculating several things: first, the economy will begin to recover (naturally), by the time the Dear Leader has to run for reelection (assuming the constitution isn’t changed to allow him to be president forever) and he’ll be able to run “stay the course,” “morning in America” sort of campaign. Second, they’re calculating by the end of 2009, real resistance to his policies will begin to form in a wind up to midterm elections, making it very difficult to implement much of anything “big” in 2010. Third, that after 2010 he’ll be left with smaller Democrat majorities in congress and quite probably a majority in the Senate that is much weaker and less able to implement his socialism.

Which leaves us with 2009. This is the year. No matter how bad it gets, no matter how crazy he looks, he cannot let himself be diverted from his agenda. Spread the wealth. That means his primary strategy will be to tie EVERYTHING he wants to do to the economy…no matter how silly it seems on the face. Which means STD prevention becomes “economic stimulus.”

There are many things that could quickly change this equation…foreign policy, for example, is something that he is entirely ignoring. Note, the big pile of DVDs he gave Gordon Brown last week. But until an outside force changes the equation, this is the direction we’re headed. Right now, we’re in the eye of the socialist storm.

I remember when I was in graduate school, dutifully writing my master’s thesis – I took a political science class. I can’t remember the teacher’s name, but he was pretty much crazy. I disagreed with him on nearly anything, but he was smart. He said something once that I’ve always remembered… “I don’t know everything, but I do know crap when I smell it.” Along that same line, Americans (at least those living outside of about 35 counties in this country) are generally the same way. The Dear Leader has been burning through political capital pretty quick. I think things are beginning to change as we speak – and his calculation that he has a year is looking optimistic.

Friends and neighbors, take heart. These are the times that try men’s souls…the next four years are going to be bad. Call me a dreamer, but likely, right now is the worst. The GOP/America must focus on stopping the really bad stuff (e.g. Socialized healthcare) with an eye toward the future.  In the meantime, all we can do is hoard our cash, gold and scrap metal.  Buy a generator, plan a huge garden, brew our own beer and hope for the best.  Haha?!

Breathe in, breathe out…last week’s rant is over.