Friday's Rant: Toilet Paper

You know what?  I'm sick and tired. 

I had a completely different topic in mind for this week's rant, but I read this article and has pissed me off.  The straw that broke the camel's back, if you will.  I'm sick of Democrats, liberals, socialists, Bolsheviks and most of all...I'm sick of environmentalists.  There.  I said it. 

I'm sick of being told what I have to have my thermostat set at.  I'm sick of being told what kind of car I'm suppose to drive.  I'm tired of hearing from some nut-job that's never had a real job or even grown a garden (other than the pot plants in his basement) that our agricultural practices, which are thousands of years old, are "unsustainable."  I'm tired of being told what kind of grocery bags I should buy.  I'm tired of being told to "consider my environmental responsibility before printing this e-mail."  I'm tired of being told what kind of light bulbs I should use.  And I'm tired of hearing that the carbon dioxide which I exhale with every breath I take is pollution. 

Folks, excuse me, I'm trying real hard to watch my language right now.

Here's the article - American taste for soft toilet roll 'worse than driving Hummers'.  That's right...one more thing we can add to the list.  Of course, it only applies to America, but apparently we're all a bunch of, ahem, assholes because we like something more than one-ply recycled toilet paper.

They call it, "luxury brand" toilet paper.  Okay, maybe if I'm some African tribesman using fig leaves for toilet paper, then it's luxury.  Other than that, there is no such thing as "luxury toilet paper." 

Well, I don't care.

"More than 98% of the toilet roll sold in America comes from virgin forests, said Hershkowitz. In Europe and Latin America, up to 40% of toilet paper comes from recycled products. Greenpeace this week launched a cut-out-and-keep ecological ranking of toilet paper products."

The article goes on to make note that Americans use 100% more paper than the Chinese.  Well, la-dee-da.  Guess what?  The Chinese eat 100% more dogs than Americans but I'm not trying to save the dogs.

Friends and neighbors, I'm sick and tired.  The socialists keep coming at us.  They won't leave us alone until we're all eating nuts and berries and living in a cave.  This is why I don't care:  if you plant them, trees always grow back.  If you want to use four-ply $100 bills to wipe your butt, go for it.  If you want to buy a pallet of "luxury brand" toilet paper and TP your neighbors trees...sweet, I don't care - as long as I'm not your neighbor.  I want thicker, stronger toilet paper.  If it means virgin forests must be chopped down so I can have better TP...let's spark up the chain saws.

Breathe in, breathe out...this week's rant is over.

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Eat Your Heart Out, Norm Abrams

Have you ever watched that show “New Yankee Workshop?” It’s a great show – Norm Abrams is one of my favorite Jewish carpenters (*wink*). Not to mention he’s a complete magician and can make anything.

That said…if you watch the show, he has literally every possible tool imaginable – no matter how obscure. “For this part of the project, we are going to incorporate a mortise-tenon rip biscuit dowel joint into our piece.” I hear this and I think, “WOW! I wonder how he does that!?”

“It’s simple to make this joint, really. Let’s go over to our Mortise-tenon rip biscuit dowel joint jig cutter and we’ll whip it right out.” What the bleep? No average person has a tool like that!

Come on, Norm! Do it the way an AVERAGE woodworker would make it. You know, out in the cold garage – barely enough light to see with. All you have is a circular saw, an old hammer, a chipped up screwdriver, a string of bailing wire and a prayer. Now get it done.

Well, thankfully for us, there is such a place. Most people don’t know this, but right next to the Iowa Blog Cabin there’s a little building I refer to as, “The Old Confederate Workshop.”

It’s a place where things get done – one way or another. Sure, you may have to step over the stray baby car seat, lawn mower or tomato cage. And yes, it’s poorly lit, poorly heated, completely un-insulated and cigar smoke is encouraged (come and get me, Chet Culver). But dang it, when I need a mortise-tenon rip biscuit dowel joint, I get out my hammer and straight screwdriver and chisel it out just like the next guy. Now THAT’S old-world craftsmanship.  You won't see those Boston tea-sippers whippin' out stuff like this.

Okay, since Anne reads this I better admit, maybe it isn’t that bad. I have bought a tool or two. But there’s a lot of “figurin’stuff out” that goes on. Well, out in the Old Confederate Workshop this winter we’ve been on a quest. A quest for absolute relaxation. We’ve taken the tired old Adirondack chair and, quite frankly, perfected it. I’m calling it the “JDx-1000a.”

It’s not just a chair I whipped out in a weekend, a week or a month. I built it, sat in it, took it apart, redesigned it, put it back together and sat in it again. The perfect angle on the back with a curve that hugs your back. A seat that perfectly conforms to the way your legs naturally rest. An ottoman that continues that natural curve to give you…complete relaxation. Made of 100 percent cedar, stainless steel hardware and sealed with marine varnish, this piece of furniture will last for a very, very long time. Perfect for afternoons in the shade, a frosty mug of PBR in hand, watching the world go by.

I’m already working on the JD-2000b production model including a few “special” modifications. Spring is coming and you’re going to want to sit down. Only the Old Confederate Workshop gives you quality like this. Get your orders in today! Tell’em the Iowa Blog Cabin sent you and you’ll receive a SPECIAL discount (Collin Darrah not included)!

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Kali Ma!, Kali Ma!

I must admit, I watched the speech last night. But the whole time I watched, I couldn't help but feel like I've seen it before. But all evening, through the night and until this morning...I couldn't figure it out. I've been racking my brain.

Then it hit me...



Now watch a few seconds of this:



Now that's spooky.

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Hmm...

It took somewhere around 233 years for our nation to create the $1 trillion dollar deficit the Dear Leader "inherited."  He doubled it in less than 30 days in office.  That is the Democratic Party.

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The Diet Starts...Tomorrow

Yesterday I ate an entire large meat-lover’s pizza by myself. After a brief nap, I woke up and ate a GIGANTIC piece of that delicious Costco cake. The triple chocolate kind with that ridiculous layer of fudge in the middle. Later, I washed it all down by guzzling an entire two-liter of Pepsi. Then I burped.

Anne asked me what I was doing eating all that, and with a dramatic eye roll, I told her, “It’s okay. I’m going on a diet tomorrow. In fact, I’m going to sit down for a few hours and create a plan to cut my calorie intake in half.”

“You mean, half of what you should be eating, right?” she asked.

“No, of course not. Over the last several days, I’ve been eating around 10,000 calories per day. I’m going to create a plan that will help me cut this calorie intake in half.”

She shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense. You were eating 3,000 calories and then started eating 10,000 calories…if you cut that in half, you’re still eating almost twice as much as you should be!”

“Oh, Anne. You’re naiveté is so cute. Technically, I guess, you’re correct. I was eating 3,000 calories. But I decided that was an artificially low number that unnecessarily forced me to sacrifice lifestyle and well being. I began eating 10,000 calories as, uh, um…a STIMULUS! A stimulus to make up for all of my past sacrifices. Now that I’ve been taking in all those calories, I understand it is unsustainable and that I must return to…caloric discipline. Therefore, I will create a plan to cut my calories in half.”

“You’re crazy,” she huffs. “When are you going to start cutting your calories in half?”

“Oh, I’m not going to cut my calories in half immediately. That would be much too painful. It’s going to be a process…I hope that once I begin the process – by drinking less water and eating fewer fruits and vegetables – I should be able to cut my calories in half in four years or so.  Yeah, that’s a good goal. Reduce my calorie intake by half to 5,000 calories per day in four years.  But, should times get tough and I feel the need to slip up, I'm considering purchasing calorie credits from those who are more disciplined than me.”

"Calorie credits?"

"Yeah, it's simple, really...If say, a couple years from now, I'm down to 6,500 calories per day (right on track) and a birthday party comes along, there's no need for me to sacrifice.  I'll purchase a "calorie credit" from a person who has eaten fewer calories, thus pulling my net calorie intake down, while still keeping the other person's diet on track.  It's a win-win, really." 

My diet starts tomorrow…or the next day.

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Man Shoots TV over convertor Box Confusion

The Iowa Blog Cabin has been warning people for month's about the DTV transition...So now it's happened.  A Missouri man has shot his TV over not being able to get it to work.

Here's the article: 

OK, so the DTV transition hasn't been perfect.

While the early analog-cutoff of 421 TV stations on Feb. 17 has gone relative smoothly according to most reports, that was not the case of at least one Missouri man, according to KARE-TV Minneapolis-ST. Paul.

The station reports that a 70-year-old Joplin man was arrested and charged with unlawful discharge of a firearm after shooting his TV set. Responding to a report of shots being fired, the station reported, the police found the man angry that he had both lost his cable and had been unable to get his new DTV converter box to work.

According to the man's wife, he had been drinking.

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Friday's Rant: Homeowners, Bolsheviks and 47 More Months

Well, it’s been about one month. Only 47 to go - hopefully.

Earlier this week, the Dear Leader unveiled his bailout for homeowners - something like $275 billion. For years before our economic downturn hit, we were all hearing about the “housing bubble.” We heard about how ARM mortgages were going to come back to bite those who took them out. We heard news stories declaring that a reckoning was coming – the interest rates would reset and those who took ARM mortgages would find themselves in real trouble with monthly payments they couldn’t afford.

Listening to these warnings, responsible people lived within their means and purchased homes they could afford with fixed-rate mortgages. These people could have bought a bigger house with more square footage – if only they would have taken out an ARM – but they didn’t. Using common sense, they knew the potential consequences of an ARM and did the smart, responsible thing. What a bunch of suckers.

So now the disaster has hit. These ARMs have reset, payments dramatically increased and many of these irresponsible homeowner’s are in a world of hurt – with a dramatic rise in foreclosures all over the country.

What’s the Dear Leader’s response? Bail’em out. Who cares they made dumb choices? Who cares they can’t afford their house? Who cares they haven’t been making their payments? Who cares they were all warned? Let’s give them thousands of dollars each so that they can pay down the principal, refinance the mortgage, wait and see if they start making their payments. Mark it down – this will not work.  (For Barry's kids:  this is what we call "wealth redistribution")

What do the people who’ve been making their payments, living responsibly and paying their bills on time get? Nothing…except the satisfaction of continuing to make their payments and of course paying their taxes to bailout all these deadbeats.

So when a mob of responsible homeowners shake their lit torches and pitchforks and yell, “Why should I have to bailout those people who’ve made dumb decisions!?!” The response from the Dear Leader and his politburo is this:

"You see, all of these foreclosures hurt you, too. Even though you are paying your mortgage, living within your means, and acting responsibly, when a house on your street goes into foreclosure, it negatively impacts your home’s value, the property tax receipts to local government (of course) and the services it provides."

Got it. So it is in my best interest to make sure the deadbeat down the street stays in a house he can’t afford because it might mean that my value decrease if he can't. All the while, I’m expected to continue to live responsibly and within my means? Where’s the incentive for that? (hint: socialism always destroys incentive and individual initiative)

Now, I’m not so naïve to think that we live in a capitalist country where markets drive the value of an asset. Let’s be honest…those times ended at least 30 days ago. But humor me for a moment…

Apparently, over the last several years, housing prices and values have been artificially inflated. Obviously because of the fact that too many people were given more money than they could pay back – based on the deal they made. These people, with money to burn, drove up the housing market.

Here’s the deal. Let these people lose their homes. If the lender wants to work with them to renegotiate their loan, that’s fine. If we let the housing market find a bottom – it will. The market will reach a point where responsible buyers will swoop in and begin to purchase these foreclosed homes at what is seen as bargain prices (I KNOW this is the case because this is exactly how we got the Iowa Blog Cabin). This will likely set a floor on home prices – for everyone.

Thankfully, there are alternatives for those who can’t afford their homes – rent. Rent a house, a condo an apartment – whatever. Why is this not a reasonable alternative for someone who obviously can’t afford their mortgage? Home equity obviously can’t be the excuse.

Friends and neighbors, we all know this…if you reward bad behavior, you’re reinforcing and encouraging that same bad behavior. In fact, you’re removing the incentives for good behavior. That’s what the Dear Leader, his politburo and the Bolsheviks in Congress are doing with this mortgage bailout. As with most government solutions, it won’t solve anything, it will drive our nation deeper into debt, and have a serious impact on the confidence of those waiting to enter the market (e.g. people with money).

The one positive – it will further enrage those Americans who play by the rules, pay their taxes and go to work everyday – bringing nearer the day when they rise up and kick these incompetent children out of office.  We want that little fire to burn.

Breathe in, breathe out...this week's rant is over.

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Good Job, Ford!

Here's an interesting article - "Ford to Stay its Course: No Loans."  It talks about how Ford is still not taking any government loans - and doesn't have any plans to at this time.  Refreshing - considering the billions GM and Chrysler have received - and will receive, no doubt, in the coming months. 

I certainly hope they can hold out.  Not only because I think all these loans to automakers are bad, but because it's nice to see a company resist the ominous trend of nationalizing American industry.  I haven't felt any particular loyalty to American automakers for a long time - primarily because of extortionist union thugs - but if Ford can turn things around - without the government - that changes the equation for me. 

From a marketing/public relations perspective, I think there's a nugget of opportunity here for them.  Out in "average" America (that tiny, insignificant sliver of geography between New York/Washington, D.C. and California), there's a backlash coming.  It will be interesting to see its extent, but it's coming.  People are getting tired of bailing out banks, insurance companies, automakers, irresponsible homeowners and other "stimulus" recipients.  People are getting tired of paying their taxes, playing by the rules and working hard - only to watch those who have made poor decisions get bailed out - with their tax dollars. 

A company like Ford, bucking the corporate trend by NOT taking a bailout, could really tap into this mentality and find a nice niche to leverage their brand.  I hope they do it.  I'd like to trade in both my cars right now for Fords. 

So ends your Iowa Blog Cabin marketing lesson for today.  Class adjourned.

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Pic of the Day: Brr

BRR Ride - February '09 - Bike Ride to Rippey (Perry to Rippey and back - 24 miles)

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Republiconia: A Not-So-Farfetched Tale

I was reading the "Democratic Underground" last night.  It's a site I don't recommend visiting if you're at all a thinking, rational, reasoned person.  Unless you're like me - and never cease to be amazed some of these peoples' literal insanity. 

Anyway, all of the posts on this site were, "We should ban Republicans," "I hate Republicans," "Republicans have ruined this country," "Republicans torture" and other brilliantly conceived arguments.  But there was one that captured my imagination.  It went something like this, "I wish we could take all the Republicans and confine them to three states - and then build a wall around those three states." 

It was the first - and only - thing on the entire site that I agreed with.  Imagine it:  three states made up of ONLY Republicans.  With a wall around it even!  Now, presumably, the author wanted a wall around the three states in order to keep the Republicans from getting OUT, thus contaminating their Democratic eden, but I'm cool with it.  You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to. 

I remember when I lived in Lubbock, Texas.  That's kind of how it was.  If you think Texas is conservative, you've never been to west Texas.  Democrats don't even bother to run.  I remember one time I went to vote for the area's congressman - there were two Republicans and one Libertarian on the ballot.  No Dems.  Now, THAT'S what I'm talking about. 

I'm here to say, let's do it.  The Iowa Blog Cabin officially endorses the idea.  Give the Republicans three states and I'll help build the wall.  I'll even chip in to buy some razor wire to put along the top of it.  But what are the three states we should include?  I'm thinking we start with Oklahoma - not a single county in OK voted for Obama.  Then we'd head south and include Texas - although that would mean more miles of wall we'd have to build, fewer people would have to move.  Then, I'm thinking Louisiana.  Bobby Jindal and the boys are getting their poop in a group and have that state running pretty well.  Plus, we'd have New Orleans all to ourselves (remember, no Dems).  Let's name this enchanted land, "Republiconia."     

So we all get moved in, we get the wall built, razor wire set juuusst right and wait..for about a month - two months, max.  In the meantime, the 47 states that now make up the U.S. go on with their lives.  Every tax imaginable is raised - of course, only on "the rich."  Spending increases - Obama doubles the deficit - AGAIN.  Gay marriage is legalized, the military is disbanded, guns outlawed, christianity prohibited, prisoners released from their cells, the internal combustion engine is outlawed, union membership required, a two-child policy is implemented, smoking is banned, marajuana legalized and a vegan diet imposed.  But without the Republicans, most small businesses (outside of fair-trade coffee shops, Birkenstock outlets, organic farms and gay bars) collapse.  Larger companies collapse as most of their workers disappear.  The only people left to work are union members who only know how to install the muffler bearings on a 1987 Buick LeSabre.

The rest of the people left in the U.S. are those sucking off the welfare state (which, without the tax base made up of hard-working, entrepreneurial Republiconians, has almost instantly collapsed) artists, actors, animal-rights activists, Al Gore and college professors.  In an effort salvage the slumping economy, Obama implements a two-pronged strategy - 1) again raise the taxes on the rich, and 2) implement a $2 trillion stimulus.  The first prong instantly fails when he learns that there are not any more "rich" (those making $28,000 or more) left with any money - and George Soros just took off for Europe.  The second prong of the strategy hits a serious snag when Obama learns that there isn't enough "green friendly" recycled paper and ink to print the money.  He issues an executive order temporarily allowing logging because, "in order to avoid a national catastrophe, some trees must give their lives so we can print more money."

Massive inflation hits...and then it happens.  Desperate for hope and change, millions of Americans wait for enough wind to generate enough electricity to recharge the batteries in their electric powered "smart" cars.  Once they do, they drive south.  They quietly cruise at an average speed of 23 kph (you see, immediately after the Republicans left, the U.S. switched to the metric system - how European) right to the walls of Republiconia (there are no gates) - and they are pissed.

Peering over the wall - from the Republiconia side - is a retired George W. Bush.  He was on his way fishing and just happened to be walking along the wall.  "What's wrong, folks?" Bush asks the mob.

"You Republiconians screwed up our country soooo bad before you left - we haven't had a chance to fully and properly implement our Democratic utopian agenda!  We demand retribution!"  The American mob attempts to storm the wall and invade Republiconia.  But, they no longer have a military.  They no longer have firearms.  They even outlawed ladders (since they discriminated against people without legs).  The hapless Democrats, frustrated because of their inability to storm the Republiconian walls, give up and start to protest and complain - the only thing they were ever really good at. 

"HELL NO, WE WON'T GO!" They shout.  "These three states were TAKEN from us by evil, intolerant, close-minded, capitalist Republicans!  The Democrats who used to live in these states DEMAND to be allowed back into their native homeland!!  Now they've erected this wall to brutally separate us from our homeland!  We have rights!"

Just when it seemed the crisis would never end, Obama pulled up in his Escalade (the only one left in the U.S.) and saved the day.  "My dear Americans, we have found ourselves in a crisis that was not of our making.  We inherited this problem.  I have a plan. We will amend the constitution to allow me to be president forever.  We're not going to solve our problems today, tomorrow or maybe ever - but you have to trust me.  We're better off without the Republiconians and their economic prosperity, high standards of living, carbon burning engines, efficiency, private sector health insurance, general happiness and timely tax payments.  We will restructure America into agrarian commune and live off a new substance we've created called Soylent Green.  They're tasty little wafers - and they're green!"

That's all the mob needed to hear.  With bellies full of soylent green, they loaded into their smart cars and sheepishly headed towards Obama's agrarian communes and the change that awaited them...

The End...?

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I Heart - Heart Day

Happy Valentine's Day, Iowa Blog Cabinistas! 

So I was reading the Stuart Herald yesterday.  A great publication and local newspaper.  They had a special Valentine's Day section in the paper where people could have a little message to their sweetie printed in the paper. In the spirit of the season, I thought I'd print, word-for-word, a few of these messages below.  These are quoted EXACTLY from the paper:

To: Mary
From: Larry
Message:  You filled my heart with love, 3 years ago, the first time we met.  My love has grown ever since.

To:  George
From:  Norm (ed. note:  yes, Norm)
Message:  You're my favorite person in all the world.  My greatest joy - walking through life with you...My Love Always.

To: Mel
From: Katy
Message: Years have come, years have gone, but my love grows deeper each year we are together. Happy Valentines Day Turkey.

To: Jim
From: Ronnie
Message:  On March 3, 1990 we said out vows...For better or worse.  Through sickness and health.  For richer and poorer...you know the rest.  In any case, I think I can speak for both of ous when I say, "I doubt that God intended us to go through all of them so quickly" but we have and I'm sure we'll go through some of them again in the years to come.  You are my one and only Valentine and I'm proud to say you are my Valentine for every Valentine's Day we've shared together already and for the ones to come.  Happy Valentine's, Honey.

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Friday's Rant: One of Those Weeks

Friends and neighbors, I have a lot to be thankful for, but every once in a while, you have "one of those weeks."  This last week has been...one of those weeks at the Iowa Blog Cabin.  It seems like every time I've turned around, something I own breaks.  Late last week on the drive home I start to notice a vibration on my car.  "Great," I thought...thinking of the $225 I paid last year to have a wheel bearing replaced.  The vibration got significantly worse as the week went on.

Then, last weekend, we're driving home in the Envoy...we look down at the instrument panel - and the gas gauge and oil pressure gauge aren't working.  Dead.  "Son of a *bleep*," I thought.

On Tuesday, I get home from a vibration-filled drive home, sit down on the couch and turn on the TV.  "Oh, the sound on the TV broke,"  Anne tells me. "Cheese and rice.  What else is going to break!?" (secretly, this is kind of something I've been praying for - but I didn't need it to break THIS WEEK).

But there was more.  Collin has had a simmering head cold for the last few days...after hearing the news of my precious TV, Anne tells me about the trip to the doctor.  "They prescribed an anti-biotic so it wouldn't develop in pneumonia."  Obviously concerned for his health, I was happy they were able to do something, but still, it was one more thing on the dog pile.

So Wednesday I scheduled to take my car in and get fixed on Thursday.  One more day of vibration.  I can do that.  So, I'm driving home - exhausted - and get a call from Anne.  "I think we need to take Collin to the walk-in clinic and get check out.  He's gotten a little worse."  So as soon as I got home, we turned around and went to the Doctor's office in West Des Moines, sat there for another three hours, examinations, X-rays, poking and prodding.  "Well," the doctor said, "he has a spot of pneumonia.  We're going to give him a shot, some other medicine, some steroids, blah, blah, blah...and bring him back tomorrow morning."  Poor kid.

As we leave the office, I can hear the meteorologist calling for 10" of snow on Friday.  Great. 

So it's Thursday morning.  I drive to work.  Vibration.  I drop my car of to be repaired and begin my day.  I leave a meeting and get a call from Anne.  "I just got out of the appointment and the doctor says we need to take him to the hospital."  "WHAT!"  Now I'm getting a little worried...when I had left earlier in the morning, he actually seemed like he was getting better.


"Okay, I'll meet you there..."  I hang up the phone.  Crap!  I didn't have a car!  I call Anne back to have her pick me up on the way.  We get to the hospital and are rushed right in.  Nurses in, nurses out.  Doctors coming, doctors going.  Tests here, tests there.  All the tests come back 'normal.'  The doctor comes in and gives us the news.  His breathing is fine.  No pneumonia - basically, he has a bad cold.  After an hour of panicked worry, we leave and go home - and drops me back off at work.

The end of the day comes and I pick up my car.  Vibration gone.  Check that off my list.  I took Friday off of work to give Anne a break and take a "mental health day."  Three day weekend.  Yesss.  Things are looking up.

I get home and pull into the driveway, park the car and walk towards the house.  "You have got to be kidding me!"  I look at the edge of the driveway - there's a three foot section of black-top that is basically completely ripped up.  Turns out, the propane guy stopped by to top off our propane tank and parked on the edge of the driveway - with his big rig and 50,000 lbs of propane.  One week of 60 degree temps have cause SIGNIFICANT thawing and, well, you can guess what happened.

Well, it's Friday, I'm home, Collin's doing well, we're getting snowed-in, I think the Envoy still has gas in it, my TV's broke.  I need a nap.

But things are looking up!  This is going to be a great weekend!  The Daytona 500 is Sunday, we stocked up on tons of cold medicine, I have a spare TV, Jimmie Johnson is on my Fantasy League team again this year, the Bolsheviks that run Congress are giving me a $13 "tax cut," my car is running like a champ and life is good.

Breathe in, breathe out, life goes on...this week's rant is over.

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Happy Birthday, Abe

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Barry's Kids

I want a new TV, a new car, a new house (with a new kitchen), seven swans-a-swimming, a new driveway, a new garage, six lords-a-leaping, a trip to Mexico, a free college education for my kid, FIVE gooold rings, free food, four calling birds, more money, three french hens, a playstation 3, two turtle doves...and...and...and a parrrrtridge in a pear tree!

Here's the best part of the video below.  If you'll look up from your barf bag just long enough...you'll see the woman over Henrietta's right should lip the words..."I love you Barack."  Sick.



God bless us.  Everyone...these are typical Obama supporters.

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Stimulation

Anybody who’s read this blog more than once know how I feel about the Dear Leader. I’ve felt for several years now that he’s dangerously inexperienced – not to mention just plain wrong.

But I have to admit, for being the change we’ve been waiting for, he’s off to quite the sputtering start. I’m surprised by it, actually.

Whether it is foreign policy, domestic policy or, centerpiece of his first 100 days – the "stimulus" package, he appears out of step, lacking in leadership and desperate to gain some traction.

In foreign policy – Russia, Iran, North Korea, Pakistan, India, Mexico, the Europeans – to name a few, have all started testing the Dear Leader’s resolve. His cabinet appointments have been tripping all over themselves bringing the messiah’s decision-making skills into question. Finally, the stimulus package has turned into a complete political debacle – and it’s all his fault.

He let Nancy Pelosi and the nut-jobs in congress write the bill, has put a ton his presidential prestige behind it and it’s sucked out most of his early momentum. To me, it’s not clear how he’s going to get it back.

In watching him through the campaign and the early weeks of his presidency it seems clear:  he delays taking a firm stand on anything until he absolutely has to.  That's the cause of the stimulus mess.  I highly doubt that if the Dear Leader and his economic team would have written the bill it would be as bad as it is now (he's too calculating for that).  But he let Pelosi write it - and now he stuck with it - and stuck defending most of the aspects of it.  He was trying to keep a leg on both sides of the fence for as long as he could and it's backfired.

The Dear Leader, no doubt, felt that the GOP would cave under the weight of his popularity, momentum and ability to communicate.  To their credit, the Republicans have done an excellent job in fighting this thing.  If it wasn't for three "moderate" Republicans, it wouldn't have passed at all (and it's not over yet).  The bill is a complete disaster.

So where does the Dear Leader go from here?  Although the stimulus - in some fashion - is likely to be implemented, I don't see how anybody can say he's "won" politically.  For the first time, the GOP has gotten the best of him.  They've done it not by attacking him directly - but by attacking Pelosi and Reed and a truly BAD bill he's forced to defend.  Until the Dear Leader's approval ratings start to drop (and they will), watch for this to serve as the GOP's template moving forward.

The rest of us will have to pay for this stimulus - in so many ways.  

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Man Vs. Wild

"Ounce for ounce, eye balls give you more protein than a steak."




I realize there are chunks of "Man Vs. Wild" that are exaggerated.  But there's nothing exaggerated about a guy eating a Yak eye the size of a golf ball - in one bite.  Tasty.

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Friday Rant Twin Spin: Democratic Senators and the Fairness Doctrine

Liberal ideas, ideals and pet causes can rarely win in the arena of ideas or in the free marketplace. The examples are everywhere. Most "green industries," "alternative energy" sources, National Endowment for the Arts-type crap, NPR, public television - none of it would exist in a world without big government liberalism and their subsidies and ear-marks forcing it upon an otherwise unwilling public.  After all, Democrats are only "pro-choice" when it comes to killing unborn babies.

Well, another example of this is something that I think we're all going to have to be on guard for over the next year or so - something called, "The Fairness Doctrine."  You see, in the last 20 years, few things have failed more miserably than liberal talk radio.  Another liberal talk radio station closed just this week.  Basically, the market has spoken - and in a loud, clear voice - liberal talk radio has been given the boot.

But this doesn't stop Democrats.  Their idea is the "Fairness Doctrine."  In a nutshell, this would force radio stations to grant equal time to "both sides" of the aisle.  So, if Rush Limbaugh is on three hours a day, that same station would have to grant equal time to an opposing view - regardless of what the listeners actually want.  This would essentially turn talk radio - most of AM radio, actually, irrelevant because most stations would rather put on something "uncontroversial" than have to deal with bureaucrats and liberals over what equals "both sides."  This isn't a theory - there once was a fairness doctrine - and this is exactly what happened.

But as you can probably tell, it has nothing to do with equal time or "fairness."  It's all about removing the voice of opposition, silencing critics and, in doing so, limiting free speech.

Here's the back-and-forth between liberal talk radio host Bill Press and Senator Debbie Stabenow.  You can hear the audio here:

BILL PRESS: Yeah, I mean, look: They have a right to say that. They’ve got a right to express that. But, they should not be the only voices heard. So, is it time to bring back the Fairness Doctrine?

SENATOR DEBBIE STABENOW (D-MI): I think it’s absolutely time to pass a standard. Now, whether it’s called the Fairness Standard, whether it’s called something else — I absolutely think it’s time to be bringing accountability to the airwaves. I mean, our new president has talked rightly about accountability and transparency. You know, that we all have to step up and be responsible. And, I think in this case, there needs to be some accountability and standards put in place.

BILL PRESS: Can we count on you to push for some hearings in the United States Senate this year, to bring these owners in and hold them accountable?

SENATOR DEBBIE STABENOW (D-MI): I have already had some discussions with colleagues and, you know, I feel like that’s gonna happen. Yep.

Oh, and did I mention that Stabenow is married to a liberal talk radio executive?  How predictable.  Why should radio stations be required to provide "balance" on the radio?  If you don't like it, change the station.  Why do liberal Democrats feel the need to tell people what shows they have to have on the radio?  What are they afraid of?  An educated electorate - that's what. 

Friends and neighbors, be on guard.  Liberals excel at telling people what to do and how to live their lives.  This is one more example of this.

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Friday's Rant: The Longest Weekend

I've never been much of a basketball fan.  I watch March Madness and the Cyclones throughout the season, but basketball for basketballs sake has never really captured my interest.  I have two favorite sports:  football and NASCAR.  For this reason, this coming weekend is always the longest, typically most boring weekend of the ENTIRE year.

Remember back last month when I wrote about the "Januaries"?  This weekend typically represents the bottom - the most lonely weekend of the Januaries.  This is the case because it is the only weekend in the entire Gregorian calendar year when there is neither a football season (the Pro Bowl doesn't count) or a NASCAR season going on.  Ugh.  Last week was the Super Bowl, next week is the Daytona 500 - but this weekend...this weekend, there is nothing.  Nothing but college basketball, snowboarding and probably some bowling.  Sometimes they'll even try and get cute and throw in weird stuff like "The World Badminton Championships - LIVE from Tehran!" Ick.

Friends and neighbors, I don't want to complain.  :)  But is 52 solid weeks of NASCAR and/or football too much to ask?  I'm sure the marketers would go for it.  The networks would too.  Heck, I bet it would contribute to billions - if not millions - of dollars in economic stimulus.  Think of the pretzels that are not being eaten, the beer not being swilled, the viagra commercials without a target market!  This is America and we can do better.  Demand better!  I'm just trying to help.

Breathe in, breathe out...this week's rant is over. 

P.S.  CELEBRITY SPOTTING!  Okay, not really.  Actually, not even close.  But the entire editorial board of the Iowa Blog Cabin will be hopping on our bikes this Saturday and riding the BRR Ride (Bike Ride to Rippey).  Twenty-four miles of frozen fun from Perry to Rippey, Iowa.  Join us...if you DARE!

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Your Apologetic Quick Hits

Obama "screwed up."  I expect this from the GOP - but we were promised change...dang it.

Bush was right.  "Again."

An Obama Meltdown?  Dear Leader, say it isn't so.     

Obama is 'watering down' "Buy American."  ...as long as the Europeans get paid.

Pelosi - "We're losing 500 million jobs each month."  Please note: this woman controls the U.S. House of Representatives.

Energy Sec. Steve Chu (no, I didn't sneeze) warns:  "no more agriculture in California."  Global warming to blame.

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Income Taxes are Not Optional

I know that there are a few Democrats that read the Iowa Blog Cabin - a guilty pleasure, no doubt. Regardless, after the last couple weeks, I thought it would be useful to remind Democrats, "independents" and Obama appointees - paying your taxes is not voluntary. You have to.

If for example, you make $300,000 in income - you have to report it to the IRS.  Even if it is an amount as paltry as $40,000 you still have to report it and pay taxes.

I bring this up only as a sort of public service announcement - an outstretched bipartisan hand.  I only want to help.  I only want to see the Dear Leader and his political picks be successful.
 

One pot-shot - Tom Daschle's new glasses are gay.  Only a FORMER senator from South Dakota with no plans of returning could get away with those.  I'd like to see him walk into a Sturgis bar during bike week sporting those specs.  We're talking game over.  Which reminds me - Could Tom be Sally Jesse Raphael's long-lost brother? 

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