Wiccan Priestess to Deliver Inaugural Invocation

GODLESS LIBERALS FINALLY HAPPY

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an abrupt change of his mind, President-Elect Barack Obama has selected Shanela, High Priestess of the Wiccan, to deliver the invocation at his upcoming Inauguaration. 

Shanela, one of the most influential religious leaders within the Democratic party, is a champion of issues such as atheism, abortions on demand, full gay rights, defending trees, nature and dirt.  She has also been an advocate for banning prayer in schools, government, churches and public. 

Commenting on her selection from her San Francisco earth lodge and spiritual center she said, "I think that for the first time in my life, I'm finally proud of my country.  This invocation will be seen as a turning point.  A point where we finally have leadership willing to acknowledge the uselessness of not only western religion, but in a way, western culture.  We need to reject the dominant paradigm of modern religion that keeps the U.S. in its intolerant chains!  May the spirit of the wind be praised!"

Liberal groups cheered her comments.

The choice of Shanela comes on the heels of Obama's selection and then rejection of Rick Warren to initially give the invocation.  His choice of Warren came under intense criticism from liberal groups who saw his views on abortion and gay rights as "extreme."

Obama has denied that his choice of Priestess Shanela to replace Warren at the inauguration had anything to do with the criticism.  "Uh, I've said it before and, uh, I'll say it again...Rick Warren wanted to spend more time with his family - and, uh, I respect that.  I have, uh, reviewed my, uh, staff decision making and I have, uh, cleared them of any, uh, wrongdoin' and/or miscommunicatin'.  Priestess Shanela, represents the America I see when I look out across the carbon burnin', SUV drivin', god-fearin', bitter clingin', once-fruited plain.  I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message." 

This new choice of Priestess Shanela has been met with praise and hearty congratulations from many liberal groups who see her choice as a step forward.  Mark Jamison, Executive Director of People for an Inclusive Democracy saw it the same way.  "This is going to be the greatest inauguration in the history of America.  At least the most tolerant, inclusive, democratic and open inauguration since Andrew Jackson asked Henry Clay's sister to dance at the inauguration of 1833.  But on a deeper, more permanent note, it signals this country is finally beginning to give gays, lesbians, transgenders and dirt worshippers a seat at the table."

When asked how she'll close her prayer, Priestess Shanela said, "The same way I close every wiccan prayer - May the spirit of the wind, priestess of the ocean, goddess of the land and children of the corn bless you and keep you safe until our next sacrificial feast day."