Double Standards and Electric Razors: Friday's Rant

Recently, I was sent one of those viral internet videos going around showing a kind-hearted husband - with the best of intentions - who bought his wife a vacuum cleaner for her birthday.  The husband was then, unceremoniously led through the backyard and thrown into a dog house where he entered some sort of twisted pergetory that was impossible to get out of until he bought his wife a new pair of diamond earrings. 

Let's contrast this video against all these TV, radio, web and print ads I've been seeing encouraging women to by the special man in their lives an electric razor for Christmas.  So they can shave their face.  Yay.  Just what every man wants. 

Don't get me wrong, I like a close shave as much as the next guy and I'm a generally nice, thankful person.  But if I received an electric razor for Christmas, I'm not exactly sure how I'd react. 

"But Jason!  It has three triple-track shaving heads offering up to 50% more shaving surface WITH the insta-pivot!  What guy wouldn't want that!?"
 
Seriously, ladies, I'm going to help you out.  Just like you don't want a new vacuum for Christmas, no guy wants an electric razor for in his stocking this year.  He's just too scared to tell you.  But I'm not.

But I'm not done.  I want to talk about the complete double standard that exists in this area.  A guy buys his wife a vacuum for Christmas and he's an insensitive jerk.  BUT, a woman buys a guy a razor and the guy is expected to love it.

Heck, I bet some of you women are reading this right now thinking I'm an insensitive jerk just for bringing up the subject!  "Like, O-M-G!  Can you believe that Jason?  He should be happy to receive anything more than a steaming pile of crap for Christmas!  Now he's ranting about a gift he'd never get anyway!  How does Anne put up with him?"

Blah, blah, blah.  Whatever.  You know I'm right.

Ladies, it's a two way street.  These are hard times.  Make the most of your gift-giving dollar.  No matter what Norelco tells you to do, don't buy your husband a razor for Christmas.  Trust me.  He doesn't want one.  You're welcome.

Breathe in, breathe out...this week's rant is over.