Friday's Rant: Halloween

Ahh, yes. It's that time of year. The leaves are falling. There's a crisp chill in the air. The days are shorter. Little children are TP'ing trees, smashing pumpkins and wandering around the neighborhood looking for a free handout. No, I'm not talking about the Democratic National Convention. It's Halloween time.

I've never liked Halloween. I don't like dressing up, I don't like scary movies and I don't like haunted houses.

Be that as it may, that's not what this rant is about. It's about something far more insidious and, to my knowledge, is a growing phenomenon: Beggar's Night.

Apparently Beggar's Night is the night before Halloween and the night when kids (at least in central Iowa) are SUPPOSE to trick-or-treat. Is nothing sacred? What the heck good is Halloween if it is relegated to nothing more than that pointless night after the night when all the whining kids wander around expecting something for nothing? It's like celebrating Valentine's Day on February 13. Or Christmas on December 24. Seriously, who thought of this??

I should have known. Apparently, Beggar's Night originated in the U.S. in the early part of the 20th century as a result of parent and civic groups trying to reduce vandalism on Halloween. Apparently they thought that if they just celebrated Halloween a day early, all of the little criminals wouldn't realize it and only the good little ghosts and goblins would go out on this new "Beggar's Night," making it safe for all. Sounds like something Barry Obama would have thought of.

Friends and neighbors, this is truly crap. I grew up on Elm Street - the NORTH SIDE of Elm Street. If some wussie, "save my baby from the vandals" soccer mom would have tried pulling this crap on North Elm, it would have been lights out. You'd have had a mob of little Darrah kids bringing a world of pain to your front door. Like I said, I've never been a huge fan...BUT Halloween is Halloween. If you're going to trick-or-treat, smash pumpkins, egg your teacher's house or slash an ex's tires - do it on October 31. Seriously. Beggar's Night is stupid.

Breathe in, breathe out...this week's rant is over.